The Ramblings of Me

scribbles of a crazy person


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You Found Me (2/?)
loclaire

So here's part two, I don't know how long it will take for me to post the next part, as this is all I have written for right now, enjoy.



After a couple weeks, of what both of them would describe as pure Heaven, Jensen decided it was time to be honest with his family, he was so close with them that the thought of them not knowing who he really is, scratched at his conscience.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Misha had taken Jensen to the airport for his flight home to Texas, and just wanted to give Jen as much moral support as he could.

“I really want you to Mish, I really do, but I just… My dad… I really don’t know how he will react. Or rather I do, that’s why it’s better if you stay here, he tends to express his anger with his fists, and if you got hurt because of him, I couldn’t bare it.”
“Just be careful Jen, you know I couldn’t bare it if you got hurt either.”
Jensen’s flight was finally called to board, Misha kissed him goodbye, and if they got some stares from other passengers for making out in the middle of the airport, well they neither cared nor noticed.

Jensen arrived in Texas later that day, and drove a rental down to his parents ranch. He stood outside the front door, took a deep breath and braced himself for what was about to come. His Mama was the one to answer the door.
“Jenny, honey, I’m so happy you’re here! It was such a lovely to surprise to hear you were coming home again so soon.” Jensen’s Mom was always so bright and happy, especially when her son came home unexpectedly.
“Hey Mama, It’s good to see you too.” He pulled his Mom in for a big hug, and let too all to quickly for him Mom’s liking.
“Is Dad around? I kind of need to talk to you both about something… Mac too if she’s here?”
“Sure honey, come inside first and I’ll make you a sandwich, you must be starving after your flight.” Jensen’s Mom always made sure that he was well fed; no one would ever go hungry in the Ackles’ house.
After putting his bag in his old bedroom, and eating the sandwich his Mom made him, Jensen sat down in the living room with his Mom, Dad and sister Mackenzie.
“Before I say what I’m here to say, I just want you all to know, that I am still the same person as I have always been, just happier, and more aware of the real me, and not just the me people expect….”
“What is this about Son, you know I don’t like surprises.” Jensen’s Dad was always the straight to the point kind of guy, he didn’t care much for the build up.
“I’m getting there Dad, I just feel I should explain first, so you can understand more. As Mama already knows, I have been going through some things lately where I have been unsure of myself and how to be me anymore. Well I have resolved that, I met someone, I actually met them a few years ago, but I recently realised that I was in love with this person, and we discussed my feelings, and it turned out that they felt the same way about me. I feel like my life has done a complete 180, I’m so much happier and I feel a lot more like my real self.”
“You came all the way to Texas to tell us you have a girlfriend?” Mackenzie was always one to poke fun at her brother, but she could tell this wasn’t the end of what Jensen came to say.
“No, that’s not all, I came to tell you, that… well… before I say this, I need you to know I never intended for this happen, but at the same time I am in no way ashamed of it, and I most definitely don’t wish that I could change what happened to me. The person that I am in love with, that is in love with me, and whom I am in a very happy relationship with… well…. It isn’t a girl… it’s actually a guy… Misha to be specific…”
“No son of mine will have a relationship with a man, he has corrupted your head, what has he done to you, I didn’t raise no fag!”
“He didn’t corrupt me Dad! I LOVE HIM! I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM, I told him I was in love with him before I even knew he felt the same way about me.”
“If you know what’s good for you, you will end this nonsense, you bring shame to our family, do you want to shame your Father? Your Mother? Your poor Mother, imagine all the talk behind our backs…”
“I DON’T LIVE MY LIFE TO PLEASE YOU DAD!!!! I Didn’t come here for your acceptance or your approval, I came here to be a good Son, and tell you before you found out from someone else. If you think I really give a shit what you think about it, you are sadly mistaken.”
“You, boy, get out of my house. No Son if mine uses that sort of language in front of his Mother.” Jensen’s Dad then took a swing at him, Jensen expected him to get his fists out, it’s how his Dad dealt with everything that he didn’t like or understand.
“I am NOT your Son. You can shove it Dad, I hate you, congratulations, you got what you wanted, I’m out of your life for good now. I hope you’re happy, because I sure am, I don’t have to see your face anymore.”

Leaving the house, Jensen could sense that someone was following him, but he couldn’t look back now, he didn’t want to give his Dad the satisfaction of feeling that Jensen didn’t want to leave. Which was true, he really didn’t want to leave, sure he had no problem leaving his Father, but not his Mother, or his baby Sister.
When he got to the rental he saw two things, his Mother screaming at his Dad inside the house, and Mac standing by the car, with tears in her eyes.
“Please, Jenny, don’t go, don’t listen to Dad he’s a pig we all know that. I’m so happy for you, Jen, I always thought there was something there, with you and Misha, but I didn’t want to freak you out by mentioning it. I have never seen you so happy, Jen, I could tell the moment I saw you, you have a light about you, a sparkle in your eye that wasn’t there before. I am so glad you have found someone that makes you feel that way.”
“Thanks Sis, that really means a lot, you have no idea. But I can’t stay here, you know as much as I do, he will never accept me, accept who I am now, I have to leave. I love you Mac, I’ll see you soon, I promise.”
“Mkay, Jenny, I love you too, have a safe trip.”

When Jensen arrived back at the apartment, Misha had his head stuck in a book, and barely noticed the door open and close.
“Mish, darlin, I’m home.”
“Jen! God, I missed you, but why are you back so soon? I thought you were staying with your family for the weekend.”
“I was right about my Dad, I couldn’t stay there with him anymore, and I missed you, I wanted to come home to you.” Misha just frowned, he had an idea Jensen’s Father would be a problem but he had no idea it would be so bad that Jen would cut his trip short. Jensen tried to spend as much time with his Mama as he could. That’s when he noticed Jensen still had his sunglasses on, Jen never kept them on inside.
“Jen? What happened?”
“Whatdya mean?”
“Your face Jen, come on don’t treat me like an idiot, what happened to your face?”
“It’s nothing Mish, I’m fine, I promise, just my Dad, talking with his fists.” Misha knew he would never get anywhere; Jensen could be so stubborn sometimes, so instead of fussing over it, he walked over to Jensen, took off his sunglasses and placed light kisses all over the bruise.

The next morning, Misha was in the kitchen making breakfast when Jensen awoke. Jensen just stood in the door way admiring the view for a few moments, before he strode into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist and kissed his cheek.
“Morning gorgeous.”
“Jen,” Misha grinned, he always loved the way Jensen looked in the mornings, no more than half awake, bed hair, and those pants that hung that way on his hips. “Good morning sleepy head, there’s coffee in the pot, and I’m making you eggs and toast.”
“My hero,” Jensen loved how Misha took care of him in the mornings, when he could barely function before coffee.

Jensen was just finishing off his second cup of coffee, when Misha turned to him looking serious.
“Can we talk about something important, Jen?”
“Of course darlin, what’s on your mind?”
“I was just thinking about us, about our friends and people at work, are we going to tell them, or…” Misha’s sentence trailed off when he saw the uncertain look spreading across Jen’s face. “I mean if you’re ashamed or embarrassed or whatever I’d rather know now…”
“No, no, it’s not that, of course I’m not ashamed, Mish, I love you, I wouldn’t have started this if I was ashamed. I just… I… I’m kind of scared, I know it sounds silly, and it’s not even about being judged or anything, I just need some time Mish, I want to find out how this goes while we’re alone together, I don’t want the entire world to put strain on our relationship, or dictate where this goes. I love you, Mish, so much. I just don’t want anything to come between us while we’re still figuring this out and getting used to it.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of, Jen, I will never let anything come between us, I promise you that. But I understand how you feel and where you’re coming from, and if you need a bit of time that’s okay with me.” Misha smiled, and walked over to his amazingly gorgeous boyfriend and kissed him with so much passion it made Jensen go weak at the knees.
“Damn, Mish…”
“Hmmm?”
“How did I not realise how damn sexy you are before a few months ago, I thought weak knees was just something they made up in the movies. But you got that down darlin.” Misha just smiled and hummed into the kiss.

It was a few months later, the week before they were due in Italy for JIBCon, and everything was still going amazingly well between them, or so Jensen thought.
The couple were curled up on the couch together watching some garbage on the television, making out like they were in high school. That’s when the door opened and in walks Jared, he still had his key from when he lived in that same apartment, when they realised Jay was staring at them like they were from another planet or something, Jensen practically jumped out of skin and shoved Misha away from him. After months of keeping their relationship a secret, Misha was used to this sort of behaviour from Jensen, but somehow, this time, his actions just seemed to cut through Misha’s heart, and hurt him more than usual. Of course, Jensen freaked out, stumbled over his words and denied anything was going on.
Even though Jensen had confided in Jared all those months earlier about his feelings for Misha, he still hadn’t told his best friend about their relationship, because it still freaked him out too much for anyone to know.
When he thought about it, which was more often than not these days, he supposed he was being a bit of a coward by not telling anyone, and he knew, he could see the hurt it was causing Misha, and as much as it killed him to see his boyfriend like that, he still couldn’t find the courage to out them. Not even to Jared.
Thing’s started to go downhill from that day, Misha started becoming ever so slightly distant, some nights sleeping in his own bed instead of with Jensen, which is something he hasn’t done since the night they decided to be together. Downplaying the situation whenever Jensen tried to have one of their infamous make out sessions on the couch and dismissing his hugs. When it got to the point where Misha stopped making Jensen coffee in the morning, that’s when he knew they had to have a serious discussion, little did Jensen know just HOW pissed off Misha was with him.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Jensen.” Jensen recoiled from the blow he felt with Misha calling him Jensen, he never called him Jensen.
“W…w…what do you mean, Mish?” Jensen wouldn’t, couldn’t let the thought enter his mind that Misha was even considering ending their relationship.
“This. Us. You may be comfortable hiding from the world, but I’m not.”
“You said you understood, Mish, you said nothing would ever come between us, that you could wait for me to be ready.”
“When I said that, I didn’t think it would be this long, Jensen, It’s been months, if you haven’t gotten used to us together by now, haven’t gotten over your fears of what the public think about us, then when will you?”
“I’m not scared of what the public thinks of us Mish. I just…”
“Then you’re ashamed of me, ashamed to be with me, ashamed of who you are.”
“You know that’s not true!”
“THEN WHAT IS IT JENSEN!? You’ve had months to get used to this, to us, it just feels like you aren’t happy, that you’re just biding your time, you don’t want to come out to everyone because you don’t want this forever.”
“Mish, of course I do, you know I do, I love you, I love you more than anything, more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. You mean everything to me Mish, everything. I can’t be without you. I won’t.”
“Then do something about it, I can’t handle this anymore Jen, if you can’t come clean to everyone about our relationship, then I don’t want to be in one anymore.”
“Please Mish, please, just give me a little more time, I promise you, I want this, I want you. Forever. I want to spend my life with you Mish, there will never be anyone else.”
“You have a week, Jen. If you can’t do it by then, I’m leaving.”
“Okay, I’ll do it Mish, I promise. I love you.”
“Love you too, Jen.”

That weekend, they flew out to Italy to attend JIBCon, and things we’re still off with the couple. Jensen’s time had just about run out, and Misha was convinced he was going to have to break his own heart and leave, because he really couldn’t do this anymore. As much as he loved Jensen, and he really did love him, more than anyone could ever know, he couldn’t live a lie.
So they shared a hotel room, but still weren’t sleeping in the same bed, Misha was distant as ever, and Jensen knew that he just had to grow some serious balls and get on with it.
But would it be enough? Enough just to go and tell Jared and the rest of their cast and crewmembers? Probably. But he wanted to show Misha he meant serious business, prove to him how much he loved him. Misha had gone down to do his panel in the stageroom, and Jensen was pacing the hotel room devising a plan.
It was about half way through Misha’s panel, when Jensen moved to the front of the line at the microphone, now up until this point there had been rumours in the press, that Misha was in a secret relationship, but no one knew who he was dating, as Jensen approached the mic, Misha’s eyes went wide with shock. What was he doing here? Weren’t they still fighting, sure not acknowledging that they were fighting, but still, fighting non-the less. If Misha thought he was surprised then, he couldn’t prepare himself for what was about to happen.
Jensen starting asking Misha about his ‘secret’ relationship, which left Misha speechless and stumbling over his words, trying to figure out what Jen was up to.
“I hear that you’re ‘secret’ relationship isn’t even with a girl, Mish, what is THAT all about?”
“Uhhh… ummm w…w….what… what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about this, Mish, us, you know our secret..” Jensen put air quotations around secret. “..relationship, the fact that we have been dating for almost 6 months now.” Misha’s jaw dropped so far, he practically had to scoop it up off the floor.
Jensen approached the stage, and joined his boyfriend, as the stage-hand handed him a microphone and went to find a chair for him, in front of all the Supernatural fans, and screaming fangirls.
“You. Me. Our. Relationship.” Jensen said in between light kisses on his boyfriends lips. “I’m sure you’re aware of that, yes?”
“Ummm… Y..y…yes?” Jensen then turned around to the fans and confirmed what he was saying.
“This beautiful man standing beside me, isn’t in a ‘secret’ relationship anymore, I was a coward, and scared. But I’m not anymore, Misha and I are together, we’re in a relationship, and I love him very much.” The girl who was due to ask her question when Jensen cut the line approached the microphone.
“I don’t believe you, you two are always screwing with each other, how do we know you’re not doing that now?” That’s when Misha was finally able to form coherent sentences.
“Whether you believe us or not really isn’t an issue here, we are together, and we are insanely happy and in love with each other. We aren’t here to prove or disprove that fact. We are just setting the record straight, so all of you know the facts. Before the press start making up stories and picking us apart.” With that, Jensen wrapped his arms around Misha, dipped and kissed him, both of them getting so wrapped up in it, that they almost forgot they had an audience.

PART THREE: COMING SOON.


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